I was reading something by Finn Mackay, and I loved this statement “female masculinity is independent of men’s versions, with its own history, often rooted in lesbian identities and communities. It is another way of being a woman, and living that identity, as valid as any other.” And this, “the familiar experience of being read by society as male or as a man, is not a misgendering experience, but one of mis-sexing; where the gender is read correctly, but a sex is incorrectly assumed to follow”.
A unique version of masculinity that is specific to women is how I have always understood Butch. This is a version that stems from a female perspective, a perspective that provides an approach to masculinity from an insider understanding of femaleness, where the divide between masculinity and femininity has fuzzy rather than solid edges.
An analogy that makes sense to me, is being born into a household with parents whose first language isn’t English. Growing up and living in an English-speaking country, you don’t use the language very much, so it's not something that you are proficient in, but when you visit the birthplace of your parents you can communicate, albeit perhaps with a few challenges. For me, that visit to the place where the language that was familiar to me as a child, is how I equate my connection to femaleness. While I may not have adopted the cultural mores, the practices, or fully understand what it feels to live as a native of that originating country, I do feel a deep connection, it is innate. I’m not the same, but neither is it separate from me. Butch is for me, just as Finn says, "another way of being a woman", not another way of being a man.
So, within this context how would I describe this type of masculinity? Masculinity does not have to come packaged with sexism, misogyny, and the male appendage. My masculinity comes from my very early rejection of femineity, and then standing naked, devoid of gender, I built my own version of masculinity. Not like my fathers or my brothers but a masculinity that I crafted for myself. Among other labels, I use the acronym OFOS to mean that my masculinity was drawn from my exposure to and admiration of a time period when masculinity was a quiet strength, when honor, respect, responsibility, and consideration of others, were not considered a weakness. For me, it means independence, fortitude, confidence, a licence to enter territories that society deems unsuitable for the feminine. Just as I have, I believe all Butches, intentionally or without realization, build their own masculinities, what that looks like, is unique to each one of us. But if I am right, the importance of early mentoring would seem to have gone up a notch
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